It took meeting someone proficient at online dating, who confidently navigated his way through sexplorations on sites like Flirtfair and invited me along for the ride (you might recall me tweeting about KK at the time), to experience the adventures I craved. Sometimes they get hurt, but at least they try, and then try again. Perhaps what I admire most is their willingness to put themselves out there, to know what they want and go after it. Just not with the gusto I have witnessed in my single friends. Sure, I went on dates I even initiated some. I tended to hang back, waiting for something to happen. Where I despaired at the lack of compatible matches and dearth of worthwhile messages, they hunted, eagerly responding to the kinds of overtly sexual messages that always seemed too aggressive to me, and sticking out the quiet friendly types who always seemed too shy. Where I sat waiting by the virtual phone, my friends set their search criteria and dived right in for hook-ups, group encounters, and occasionally, relationships. My friends have embraced modern dating in a way I never dared. I feel slightly cheated, as if I could have experienced so much more if only I was less cautious, less wary, and less afraid. One of the most interesting things has been observing how much better my friends are at dating. Since then, I have watched a number of my friends go through similar experiences, leaving long-term relationships and entering the dating world: such a different place from all those years ago when we were starting out. It helped me feel connected, and occasionally made sure I had somewhere to go and someone to go there with. It was a way to meet new people, test the waters, gain experience, discover my likes and dislikes, and to learn about myself. Back then, online dating was my singles lifeline. Four years ago, I exited the dating circuit.

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